I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize