I'm gonna have a badass scar
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
