I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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