yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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