you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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