Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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