That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize