I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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