I will die if light touches me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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