may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
