I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
