who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
