I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
We need a shit load of segways right now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize