I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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