Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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