you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
