i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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