Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

Fav 5 1739 858
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

Fav 49 6465 5025
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(502): View more from Kentucky

She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

Fav 8 1171 2775
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

Fav 8 2581 905
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(251): View more from Alabama

I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

Fav 6 1539 807
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN

Fav 3 985 566
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(647): View more from Ontario

I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.

Fav 2 1186 537
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(480): View more from Arizona

My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.

Fav 0 18 40
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(907): View more from Alaska

She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.

Fav 0 10 44
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