I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
