Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
