Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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