I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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