I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
