my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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