I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
