I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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