By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
