just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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