idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she peed on how many people?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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