You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
