he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
do nipples grow back?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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