went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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