i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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