My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
