If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
