Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The struggles of a small town man whore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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