Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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