just come out here and I will go home with you...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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