how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
