A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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