New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
