I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
