ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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