i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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