??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
