GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
