my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dick very happy bro
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