Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
