Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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