just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
