I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I AM VODKA MAN
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
