Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
