They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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