when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
