no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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