i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
