Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize