There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
