i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
