i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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