I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
